So it's been a while since I've written anything so lets see what shenanigans I can come up with tonight, or this morning since my tummy decided it was going to rebel against the cheese I ate earlier.
What does PU stand for (as in "PU, that stinks!")?
Hmmm, how about peanut ugly. Probably not.. Poopy Up? Pickled Uniform. God, this is actually bugging me now. I definetly going to look it up.
Can cannibals be arrested for being under the influence of alcohol (e.g. drunk-driving) if they have eaten someone who was drunk?
That would have to be one very drunk person. That would be an interesting conversation. "Honestly officer I haven't drank anything thing today. However that homeless guy I ate earlier was passed out drunk." We at least he would have to worry about a DUI.
Why do dogs like the smell of other dogs butts?
That's a damn good question. Do dogs like the smell on poop? Maybe their butts don't smell like ass to them. Maybe they have some weird genetic thingy that makes their ass smell like pie. I'm sure I might like smelling some one's ass if it smelt like pie. Also makes me curious as to why Pippin always sticks his ass in my face. Does he think I like it? He seems to spend a lot of time licking his butt so maybe since he likes the smell... or taste so much he thinks I might like it. Goo...
Ok, my tummy has clamed down some so I'm gonna try to sleep. :)
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Hooter girls have big boobs?
As usual I went to crazythoughts.com to get some ideas for my latest blog and i found this question...If girls with large breasts work at Hooters, then do girls with one leg work at IHOP? I have heard that joke before but the bit about the Hooter's girls caught my attention. So I've been to a few Hooter's since my friends and my husband like chicken wings. I don't think they go for the wings, they're pretty bad. they usually go to play count the camel toe. While they play that and BS I usually end up seeing if any of the girls have bigger hooters than me, AND THEY DON'T. I have never seen a Hooter's girl with big boobs. They're all little girls who look like they need a burger. Why the hell do you work at a place known for boobs if you in fact have no boobs.
Ok, enough about boobs. Next question. If ghosts can walk through walls and glide down stairs, why don't they fall through the floor? They're ghosts! They can pretty much do whatever they want to. How embarassing would it be to be a ghost and you're glidig along haunting a house, trying to be scary and you fucking fall through the floor. That would suck, you'd lose some of your scariness factor by being a clumsy ghost.
Can animals commit suicide? Yes they can. You never heard of a fish jumping out of its bowl? An animals life can suck just as much as a human. they have feelings, they get depressed. It goes along with not asking a moose who much it weighs. It would suck to be a lemming. You have one depressed lemming and it jumps off a cliff the others are probably like, "Fuck! There goes Bill. Guess it's time to end it. GOOD BYE CRUEL LEMMING WORLD!" That's why you should always love your pets and give them a good life. you don't want to come home to your dog in the bathroom trying to slit its wrist with a butcher knife. If that happened what woul you do? Call an animal psychologist? Do the police have suicide watch for animals? I'm sure PETA might. Those crazy animal loving nazis!
Ok, enough about boobs. Next question. If ghosts can walk through walls and glide down stairs, why don't they fall through the floor? They're ghosts! They can pretty much do whatever they want to. How embarassing would it be to be a ghost and you're glidig along haunting a house, trying to be scary and you fucking fall through the floor. That would suck, you'd lose some of your scariness factor by being a clumsy ghost.
Can animals commit suicide? Yes they can. You never heard of a fish jumping out of its bowl? An animals life can suck just as much as a human. they have feelings, they get depressed. It goes along with not asking a moose who much it weighs. It would suck to be a lemming. You have one depressed lemming and it jumps off a cliff the others are probably like, "Fuck! There goes Bill. Guess it's time to end it. GOOD BYE CRUEL LEMMING WORLD!" That's why you should always love your pets and give them a good life. you don't want to come home to your dog in the bathroom trying to slit its wrist with a butcher knife. If that happened what woul you do? Call an animal psychologist? Do the police have suicide watch for animals? I'm sure PETA might. Those crazy animal loving nazis!
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
At last I have found what I'm looking for!!
I found the perfect website to fuel my blogs with awesome random questions. Questions like.... What is Satan's last name? Where does the toe tag go on a dead person who has no toes? If a person dies and then springs back to life do they get their money back for the coffin? So once again I will answer these questions based on what I think.
What is Satan's last name?
Well since Satan is related to God and God is Jesus, wouldn't his last name be Christ? Satan Christ? I know that sounds totally fucked up but Jesus' last name is Christ right? Watch now I'm going to get hit with lightning... so far so good. But maybe Satan has a more traditional last name like Smith or Jones. Maybe it's Stake since I was told on multiple occasions that I'm Satan's little sister. Maybe if I ever meet him I'll ask. That is if he really exists. Hmm we shall see.
Where does the toe tag go on a dead person who has no toes?
Hmm... Around the ankle? Is the string big enough for that? Maybe if it was a person with multiple piercings they could put it through on of the hoops. That would be kind of awkward though. You go looking for the toe tag and it's tied to the person's septum ring. But then again that doesn't sound very effective. Perhaps an ear would be better since it could easily slip off a finger. That would suck. You're pushing a dead body to the moruge and the tag falls off. You get to the mourge and you're like who the fuck is this person? Shit. Reminds me of a bad Ewan McGreggor movie I once saw where he played a night guard at a mourge and people were being murdered there.
If a person dies and then springs back to life do they get their money back for the coffin?
First off, WHY THE HELL ARE THEY SPRINGING BACK TO LIFE?!?!?! IT'S A GOD DAMN ZOMBIE!!! KILL IT!!! I think that pretty much answers that question.
What is Satan's last name?
Well since Satan is related to God and God is Jesus, wouldn't his last name be Christ? Satan Christ? I know that sounds totally fucked up but Jesus' last name is Christ right? Watch now I'm going to get hit with lightning... so far so good. But maybe Satan has a more traditional last name like Smith or Jones. Maybe it's Stake since I was told on multiple occasions that I'm Satan's little sister. Maybe if I ever meet him I'll ask. That is if he really exists. Hmm we shall see.
Where does the toe tag go on a dead person who has no toes?
Hmm... Around the ankle? Is the string big enough for that? Maybe if it was a person with multiple piercings they could put it through on of the hoops. That would be kind of awkward though. You go looking for the toe tag and it's tied to the person's septum ring. But then again that doesn't sound very effective. Perhaps an ear would be better since it could easily slip off a finger. That would suck. You're pushing a dead body to the moruge and the tag falls off. You get to the mourge and you're like who the fuck is this person? Shit. Reminds me of a bad Ewan McGreggor movie I once saw where he played a night guard at a mourge and people were being murdered there.
If a person dies and then springs back to life do they get their money back for the coffin?
First off, WHY THE HELL ARE THEY SPRINGING BACK TO LIFE?!?!?! IT'S A GOD DAMN ZOMBIE!!! KILL IT!!! I think that pretty much answers that question.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Questions
I don't really understand the point of a blog. If I have to share something with some one, I do. Why write about it on the internet? So in my quest to find something interesting to write about I figured I would look for some random questions and try to answer them. I found some interesting ones like "How much does a grown moose weigh?" and "What was the Guano Islands act?" These were definitely not the kind of questions I expected but hey they're questions I found so I'm going to answer them the best I can.
So how much does a grown moose weigh? Fuck if I know I never got close enough to one to ask. Since it is usually rude to ask such a thing, why ask an animal who is know for it's bad temper? Maybe it would get offended and trample you. Maybe it's parents made fun of it and it now has an eating disorder. It would be interesting to see if a moose uses it's hoof to make it's self throw up or if it uses something else. Maybe a branch or a smaller animal. I know this all seems highly unlikely but it's not like humans see everything animals do. Animals have feelings too so is it not possible that an animal would be worried about it's weight? But I guess animals are different from people. It's usually a good thing for an animal to be a little chubby, keep themselves warm and what not. Any who, on to the next question.
What was the Guano Island act? Well I have absolutely no idea but lets break it down and come up with an answer. Guano is bat poop. So maybe somewhere there is an island made of only bat poop. I definitely don't want to live there. I would imagine it smells really bad. I'm guessing they had some kind of legal problems so they had to pass a law to stop that. There you go, the Guano Island act is an act that was passed on an island made of bat poop.
I'm sure this all sounds pretty stupid but hey, it's 2:30 am, do you really expect me to type smart crap at this time of night?
So how much does a grown moose weigh? Fuck if I know I never got close enough to one to ask. Since it is usually rude to ask such a thing, why ask an animal who is know for it's bad temper? Maybe it would get offended and trample you. Maybe it's parents made fun of it and it now has an eating disorder. It would be interesting to see if a moose uses it's hoof to make it's self throw up or if it uses something else. Maybe a branch or a smaller animal. I know this all seems highly unlikely but it's not like humans see everything animals do. Animals have feelings too so is it not possible that an animal would be worried about it's weight? But I guess animals are different from people. It's usually a good thing for an animal to be a little chubby, keep themselves warm and what not. Any who, on to the next question.
What was the Guano Island act? Well I have absolutely no idea but lets break it down and come up with an answer. Guano is bat poop. So maybe somewhere there is an island made of only bat poop. I definitely don't want to live there. I would imagine it smells really bad. I'm guessing they had some kind of legal problems so they had to pass a law to stop that. There you go, the Guano Island act is an act that was passed on an island made of bat poop.
I'm sure this all sounds pretty stupid but hey, it's 2:30 am, do you really expect me to type smart crap at this time of night?
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